Some days I wake up calm and collected. This is not one of those times. This morning I am not calm and no where near collected.
What I am feeling is the fact that this life of mine won't last forever and I need to learn not to waste a moment doing things I don't like or being where I don't want to be. Sounds easy to fix but it's not so easy for me. And so I wonder why it's not. Am I my own obstacle? Why do I constantly feel so alone? How is it that I ended up all alone? It wasn't suppose to be like this.
Excuse me while I feel a little sorry for myself, but don't worry, as my friend always says, "This too shall pass." And so it will.
I left a comment on this earlier, but I guess the cyber monster ate it!!
ReplyDeleteI know what you are feeling. I think at this time in our lives we come face to face with our mortality and realize that our time here is finite. I always think of that Bon Jovi song, "It's My Life". It goes; "It's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever; I just want to live while I'm alive. It's my life". I can be with a group of people and still feel alone. I believe that's because I am not really relating with them as to what is going on in my life at this time. I certainly never thought my life would unfold as it has. All these twists and turns have taken a toll on me. I really don't think it's easy to fix at all. I don't like the idea of being alone, either. If I never remarry, I am going to try to make my life as fulfilling as I can. I am not going to depend on a man doing that for me.
I'm sorry for rambling on so. I'm trying to explain how I feel, but I know my communication skills leave a lot to be desired!
Your communication skills are just fine. I love that song, I had forgotten those words but thank you for reminding me. I decided long ago that we can't depend on anyone else for our own happiness, it's too much pressure to put on that person for sure.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about feeling alone even among people. I've felt that way most of my life. Most of the time I am fine with it, but every once in awhile I get lonesome. Guess that's where I'm right now.