My oldest son is home for Christmas, he came in last night and then promptly left to go meet some people he went to school with and left me babysitting his dog Buddy. Buddy has an attachment problem with his father. He never ever settled down. He cried and moaned and paced the whole night. Oh well, at least I didn't have to change diapers, he is potty trained.
I have to work today and tomorrow. Tomorrow we are only opened from nine until three so it won't be such a long day.
Christmas is hard for me sometimes and this year is for sure. Living so far away from my granddaughter is no fun during Christmas. Being single and not having brothers or sisters, I sometimes feel sorry for myself and feel left out of the gift thing. I know Christmas is not suppose to be about the gifts but it's hard to hear people say what their husbands got them or their brothers or sisters. Some people do stockings and I would have to fill my own stocking if I wanted one. My stepfather always asks me to wrap my mother's gifts.
Ok, enough of that! Christmas is hard for lots of people for different reasons. If it's about giving then I've done my part but found no joy much there. Next year I think I will find a place to go where people really need things and maybe I can help them.
Something is missing here and I need to search for the true meaning of this season because I am really and truly lost!
4 comments:
Robbin-
I can relate to how you are feeling this year. YOu are not alone in feeling that way. I have 2 siblings, but they are extremely weathy and sinc emy divorce I no longer am and I am so lonely. I will not be able to buy any gifts this year adn I don't think i"ll be receiveing any either. But, hey! I have found a wonderful friend in you! I'm really thankful for that!
Thanks Chellie for your words, and I'm glad to have you as my friend too.
Christmas is hard for a lot of people, and I think one of the reasons for that is that there's so much hype about it. The media and the marketing experts build an image in our minds of how we're *supposed* to feel about Christmas, then, when we don't, it's a letdown.
To me, the best part of Christmas is always anticipation of the new year, a time of letting go of old baggage and getting a fresh start.
You deserve happiness. If you don't find it at Christmas, don't worry about it. Just keep your eyes and your heart open, and it will eventually come your way.
Thank you Velvet for your kind and comforting words. This has been such a hard year for me trying to figure out just what it is I want. I'm pretty much a free agent here, I could go wherever I wanted, I have no one to worry about but me. I'm determined to make some changes that will lead me to the happiness I seek.
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