Tonight we had a special supper celebration for Haleigh who auditioned Saturday for "Cinderella" at a local community theater. Like mother like daughter. She is in the ensemble much to her dismay, she'd like to start at the top like she thinks her mother did. Her mother did not but it seems like to Haleigh she did.
I sent out a few resumes this afternoon. It would be nice just to have some interviews to go to. I just know things will happen as they are suppose to but with time on my hands I tend to think WAY too much. A friend of mine says I need to think, that I'm still healing but thinking causes me too much pain. I think I am going to have to have some help to get through some of the feelings I have. I'm going to give it a bit more time but I don't think my thoughts are moving in the right direction.
It doesn't help that May 22nd is coming. It will be two years since Jonathan died. It seems like just yesterday but the funny thing is the pain of his loss feels more raw now than ever. I guess the numbness has worn off. Grief is one of the strangest emotions I've ever experienced, it is unpredictable. It sneaks up on you just when you think you are handling things well. It
is unexplainable, you can't explain to someone who is not close to it too. It is lonely. It is hard. I don 't like it a bit but loss is a part of life sooner or later. But like they say, it is un-natural to have to lose one of your children.
Anyway, back to Haleigh. She wanted Spaghetti for dinner & so it was. I cooked and had it ready when she and her mom got back from dance class. She had fresh flowers on the table and real plates and the works! We had sparkling cider which I put on ice in a bucket and she asked me if that's how they did it in the old days. HAHA, very funny. I guess she thinks I lived before we had refrigerators. She thinks I'm quite elderly you know. And then for desert she and her mom went and got ice cream cup cakes from Stone Cold Creamery. Very sinful they are!!! She was cute, enjoyed herself immensely. I know she'll have fun doing the play. Can't wait to see it. So glad I'm here to see it.
And so, life goes on. Day after day, life goes on............... thank goodness.