Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sweet Dreams, I'll Be Back Soon

Since my surgery is Tuesday and I've got a lot to do tomorrow, I'm closing the lid of the Cedar Chest down for now. But I'll be back soon so check back in a week or so, and I'll be pulling out dreams again left and right.
Thank you all for your well wishes and words of encouragement, those aren't staying locked up here, they are all going with me, tucked deep in my heart.
Last week I took my Sunday Stroll in my mother's yard. But this morning I stayed closer to my home. I live amongst trees. I have sort of a kinship with trees that I can't explain but it started when I was a child. I grew up in a Pecan Tree Orchard on one part of the property and an Apple Orchard on the other and both places were magical to me. And the trees that grew there brought me comfort.

Today I live where Pine Trees and Cedars grow. This is the path I walked to day.

I have spoken before about my "dancing" trees and at dusk this how they look from my front window and when a breeze is blowing, they dance in unison.

Some of the trees here have special meaning like this Cedar that grows uncontrollably beside my house. It was once our family Christmas tree about 25 years ago. It was planted in a white bucket and we decorated it and then after Christmas, we planted it. Now it is a favorite nesting place for Doves. First thing in the morning when I open my door the Dove flies out of the tree and scares me to death. She thinks it is very funny.

I have trees that are no more but do make for a good place to sit and think and enjoy the cool breeze that was blowing this morning and to soak in the warm sunshine. I really need to smooth it off though, it's a wee bit uncomfortable.

And I have trees with character. This old Oak tree got struck by lightening a few times in the 30 years my parents have owned this land but somehow it survives. In fact I was gone from here for about ten years and rented my house out. The people who rented here got permission from my mother to call someone to come out and cut it down. But the Tree cutting people never showed. I am glad.

I believe trees have a story to tell us. If only we knew how to listen there's no telling what wisdom we would gain.

Happy Sunday! Don't forget to visit Aisling over at
The Quiet Country House to see what she sees on her stroll today and to add your own stroll if you'd like.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Such a Night

The moon is 100% full tonight and as it was rising I wanted so badly to get a picture of it. Even though my camera is not made for that kind of pictures, it did pretty good. I got it behind the trees. And I sat outside enjoying it until the mosquitoes decided I tasted pretty good to them and I had to go inside. But what was really cool was very nearby there was a Whip-poor-will calling out. My mother used to tell me he was saying, "Chip married the widow!" And so to me that is what he says.
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Friday, April 18, 2008


Even though I am a private person who usually takes comfort most of the time in just being alone in my own house, there are times when I am lonely. Last night was one of them. I hate when that happens.
It doesn't happen often but when loneliness hits, it usually hits with a sharp THUD up against my heart. And it hurts.
Fortunately today I woke up with the feelings all gone and I have to work today which is a good thing probably, I need to be around people.
Mr. Loneliness sneaks up on me sometimes when I least expect it. I'm glad he doesn't visit often and I'm glad his stay is short.
I'm really not alone you know, not emotionally anyway. I have my best friend here, and family and some wonderful women who I share my soul with that I've met here on this very blog. But physical loneliness is hard to deal with sometimes. There's a lot to be said for a touch.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Running Around

Today was one of those errand days for me. You know, go there, go here, do this, do that, have that done and ask about that and take care of this and check on that!! And I'm exhausted!

And so I'm home now and glad to be so.

Just between you and me and the fence post, I'm the "Queen of Procrastination", but getting ready to be in a state where I can't do things for a few weeks causes me to HAVE to take care of things.

One Moment in TIme

One moment in time, this is the flower's only chance to bloom and smile at the world. This is it's opportunity to touch as many as it can, to offer it's beauty to all that will take time to notice, it's one chance to offer it's nectar to the bees so life will go on. It's the only chance it has to smile up to the sun and proudly be a part of all that is nature. And so just like that, it makes it's mark on the world. It was here, it existed and it did what it was suppose to do. It's time is so short but it's job is so important. Much like our own lives on this earth. And though our own lifespans are longer than this wildflower's will be, it is still, in the scheme of things, one short moment in time. I wish to have the same wisdom as this wildflower and to give my existance and that of others so much honor.
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Today There is Calm

Today is a new day and I'm feeling much better. I'm off today and the first thing I had to do was see my Doctor and it is official and I'm cleared for surgery in six days. The waiting thing has been the worse ever! But I'm calm now and as strange as it may sound almost excited. I am ready to get on with my life. I am ready to feel better and so all that is a positive thing.

Yesterday I lost my focus and my positivity. I hope I don't do that again. I have to meet with the anesthesiologist on Monday before my surgery on Tuesday and that's it.

My Doctor thinks I'll be able to go back to work in 4 weeks but she cleared me for 6 weeks just in case and I've got short-termed disability and if that is approved I will probably take the full 6 weeks off.

And then, if everything works out and I do okay, I am doing some major changes in my life as far as where I am living. But we'll talk about that later. For now I am concentrating on getting through this adventure in my life and on healing.

I've tried not to talk about my health problems too much on this blog but it is such a major part of my life at this moment, that is all I am thinking about. So, that's what it'll be probably for the next little while.

Anyway, I'm hoping you are having a good day and that there is lots of Sunshine wherever you are.


Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I Need Some Calming Thoughts

This is how I am feeling today and it's not fun.

Monday, April 14, 2008

A Spring Romance

the sun's sweet kisses
leaving ruby red lipstick
in wildflower love.

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Sunday, April 13, 2008

Not a Meme, Just me Sharing

Velvet from Velvet Sacks has a post blaming one of her blogging friends for getting her stuck on a puzzle site. I can understand, I do that sometimes too. Her friend was tagged on her blog to name five of her favorite sites. There were some rules attached to the meme and so that's not what I'm doing here but I am just sharing five of my favorite sites. Some you may know of, some you might not, but I spend a lot of my Internet on one of these sites or another.

Google Image Labeler
I came across this site by accident as I love Google Image and this is just a silly thing they have they say to help them labeling images so people can better find what they want. You earn points but I'm not sure what you can do with them. I just like to do it. You are partnered with someone else and you have two minutes to match a description of an image. (PLEASE be aware that you can't control the images that appear so this is not a game for a child or for you if you are offended easily. Mostly they are g rated images but every once in a while they are NOT. )

The Old Farmer's Almanac
I guess because my Daddy loved the Old Farmer's Almanac, I've always been drawn to it. This site is all the magazine is and more. There are best days listed according to the moon to go to the dentist, potty train your baby, get a haircut, plant your potatoes, well you get it. Chocked full of information and fun facts and old wives's tales.

Cooking by Numbers
This site cracks me up sometimes. Here you can enter the ingredients you have on hand and it generates a recipe. It's really neat and will make you laugh out loud sometimes if you put in weird ingredients.

The Internet Movie Base
I love, love, love this site. Here you can find just about any movie made, reviews, all about the people that were in it, you can watch trailers of movies, you can see what actor was in a movie and also what other movies he was in. If you love movies, you will love this site.

A note from the Universe
This is an interesting site, based on the Law of Attraction belief mostly, but what I love about it is that I signed up to receive a "Message From the Universe" in my email every day. The message is inspirational and can really hit home at times.

And those are some of my favorite sites at this time. What are yours?
Aisling over at The Quiet Country House has invited her readers to participate in a " Sunday Stroll. "

She explains, "A Sunday Stroll is not a power walk. It is a slow motion experience. To take a Sunday Stroll is to meander through the garden, with camera in hand, noticing things... like the tender green shoot growing up through last year's leaf litter, light through a translucent petal, or the spider in the tulip cup. "

After reading her words you'll understand why I love her and her blog. Every time I read her words my spirits are uplifted and I feel calm. That's just the way it is, and I know her other readers agree with me.

Anyway, although I don't have a garden myself, I do live out in the country and I live near my mother who has a beautiful flower garden that she shares with me. I decided I wanted to go on a Sunday stroll too and share it with my friend, Aisling. You can too! Just pop over to this post where she invites you to use the Sunday Stroll header she has and then comment on her post with your link. That's how it works.

So, without further delay, here's what I saw on my "Sunday Stroll."

I got a beautiful bright sun over my head...

...and wild fern growing green under my feet.

Oh My! Look at that beautiful sky. What a beautiful day it is!

The first thing I notice is GREEN! My favorite color. This is the fig tree all decked out. This tree came from a clipping from a fig tree that my great great grandfather had.

Good Morning, ladies.

The Snowball bush is blooming quite nicely.

Beautiful Red!

Just before I got to this spot there were two Cat Birds bathing. Well, one was splashing away while the other one waited his turn. If you've never taken the time to watch a bird bathing, you've missed a sight!

Sweetie enjoying our stroll.

There are new residents in this house, and a family of Bluebirds will soon emerge.

And that's what I saw on my Sunday Stroll. I'm feeling as happy and as carefree as this garden frog. And it feels good to be alive. And thank you Aisling for reminding me to take the time to appreciate all the beauty that surrounds me. It's good for the soul!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Dreamin' of Strawberries and Cream Forever

I added a gadget to my blog a few days ago from Kraft Foods. Everyday a recipe is featured. This is what is featured today. I love Strawberries and this sounds yummy. Gonna try it out when I have someone besides just me to try it out on. I Love Strawberries, they are the "fruit of my childhood" mainly because of memories I have of my May birthday and the old man who lived down the street from me.

He was never too talkative and to a child never too friendly. Most of the neighborhood kids were scared of him as he was gruff when he did say anything and he got a little put out if you cut through his yard or had to retrieve a ball that accidentally landed in his domain.

But he had a strawberry patch that produced big beautiful strawberries and on my birthday for the years we lived there, he quietly came over and presented me with a basket of strawberries.

We kids never actually saw that patch because it was in his fenced in back yard that really looked like a jungle with over grown and unkempt shrubbery.

I never see or taste a strawberry that I don't think of him.

I also have a "flower of my childhood" too, which blooms around my birthday and memories of the little lady who grew them, but that's a story for another day. Don't want to overdose on nostalgia.

Cool N Easy Strawberry Pie

Prep Time:10 min
Total Time:6 hr 40 min
Makes:8 servings, one piece each
2/3 cup boiling water
1 pkg. (4-serving size) JELL-O Brand Strawberry Flavor Gelatin
ice cubes
1/2 cup cold water
1 tub (8 oz.) COOL WHIP LITE Whipped Topping, thawed
1 cup chopped fresh strawberries
1 ready-to-use reduced-fat graham cracker crumb crust (6 oz.)
1 cup sliced strawberries
STIR boiling water into dry gelatin mix in large bowl at least 2 min. until completely dissolved. Add enough ice to cold water to measure 1 cup. Add to gelatin; stir until slightly thickened. Remove any unmelted ice.
ADD whipped topping; stir with wire whisk until well blended. Stir in chopped strawberries. Refrigerate 20 to 30 min. or until mixture is very thick and will mound. Spoon into crust.
REFRIGERATE 6 hours or overnight until firm. Top with sliced strawberries. Store leftovers in refrigerator.

Just One of Those Days

This is one of my favorite pictures of my granddaughter. Of course she's grown bunches since this picture was taken last Spring.

I am so missing her today. Although I miss her all the time, some days are by far worse, especially when I look at pictures of her. She lives so far away but usually I've been able to spend some time with her at least twice a year. I usually get to go visit in the Spring, but not this year. She and her mom visited this summer and so it has almost been a year since I've seen her. That is not right. Not natural. I'm in a funk!

With her so in my thoughts today, I think I'll send her an Internet card. I'm off to find the perfect one so she'll know how much I love her and maybe it will give her a smile and let her know how much I love and miss her. It won't be the same as hearing her laugh, or feeling her arms around my neck or seeing that mischievous sparkle in her eyes but it is a connection sort of, and all I can do at the moment.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Vision of Blue

I've been patiently for this Lily to bloom up at my mother's yard. And it didn't disappoint me. She doesn't know what they are called but they so remind me of orchids. We are actually suppose to have cold weather again this weekend. Down to the thirties even! Never think the cold weather is over, even in April. Mother Nature still is able to do what she wants and if she thinks we need one more freeze that's what we'll have.
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I love it when... best friend finds the time to blog. The name of her blog is "Too Busy To Blog" and that's the truth. She is a working mom of an active 7 year old the wife of a VERY VERY active 40 something year old. But every once in a while, when she can have a few minutes for herself she blogs. And I love it. And for the last few days that has been what she has been doing. From the scriptures she shares that bring her comfort, to the beauty of her revealing the very sensitive and wonder person she is. Like her love of birds (even a tiny sparrow ), to the picture she snaps with her phone of a pack of dogs napping on the lawn of the bank. (I am serious).
The other day she put a poem on her blog for me to let me know she will be here for me through my surgery. Also because she knows how stubborn and independent I am and knows I'd rather suffer than ask for help.
Anyway soon she'll get lost in the other things she loves to do with her family and church but in the meantime I am so loving it.
Love ya, Steph!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

An Apple a Day DOES NOT Work Forever

Have I mentioned how much I hate going to the Doctor? Well, I do. And I realize if most people had their choices, they'd not like to go either. But I really, really, dislike and dread going to the Doctor.

I'm not sure when this happened actually, I don't think I was always like this but somewhere in between having kids and reaching the ripe old age of 50, I decided I hated going to the Doctor. And so, I didn't go often. Once there was an ear problem I had to go see about and a kidney infection from time to time but that was about it.

But now, at almost 51 I seem to be falling apart, and I realize some maintenance is needed. Some preventive measures as well I suppose. And so, I am having to see Doctors.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to see a surgeon that will do a hernia repair right after my gyno does her thing with my hysterectomy. I'm having double surgery. OH MY!

And so it seems I am about to make up for not seeing doctors for years, I am about to see more than I want to of them. But isn't it wonderful we have them? And isn't health insurance the most glorious thing in the world?

And it will be wonderful to feel good again after they fix me.
But I have to admit, I still hate going to see the doctor.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

One Proud Daisy Stands Alone...

...but see the buds, others are to follow. I love Daisies. This one is blooming in my mother's yard.
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"Hang on Sloopy"

It's my day off again and I am sick. If there was a doubt in my mind that I need this up coming surgery (and there is not) I am 100% certain this is what I have to do. I only have 12 days to go and I am so ready to do this and get it over with so I can move on.
Yesterday I worked and I pushed and asked a little too much of my body. I'm sorry body. I promise not to do that again. I'll listen next time.
I had to meet with my boss yesterday for my yearly review and it went well. I got a raise and the review was very good. She at times I think can be a little nit picky but yesterday her evaluation of my "strengths & opportunities" seemed to me fair and I was happy.
And so today I will lay low and let my body re coop. And I'll try not to worry about everything I need to be doing. My house is a wreck, I need to get it cleaned and ready for me to come back to after my surgery and for my son to come. I am running out of time to do anything but I've got faith I'll get it done. I am not going to stress about it today.
I am trying to stay positive but when I am down and not feeling good, I tend to start feeling sorry for myself, which makes me feel even worse. A vicious cycle you see.
Anyhow................that's my sad saga for today. Things will get better for me, this I know and until then I just have to hang on. So I'm hanging on.............and looking forward to better days.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

My Mother is Thrilled

The other day when I was off and took the pictures of my mother's yard she was showing me a picture printed in the local paper of a yard in the community. "My yard is just as pretty or prettier as this one!" she says. And it was so. I suggested we send in a picture of her flowers and she says, "They won't print it!"

So I sent in one of the pictures I took of her yard regardless of her negativity and it was printed in today's paper. She is so proud. My stepfather says she is calling everyone she knows to tell them about it. Funny to me that it brings her so much pleasure.
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Saturday, April 05, 2008

Fading Away

I noticed yesterday that the Dogwood trees are quickly losing their blooms and before long the white burst of beauty will be gone. They've been lovely this year, I'm going to miss them.

There is a place I pass on my way home every day where there used to be a house but has long ago been torn down . On the lot remains the trees and shrubs the homeowners had planted years ago.

It seems, especially a long time ago, to be a common thing to plant Azaleas around the Dogwoods. If they happened to bloom at the same time in the early spring it was a beautiful thing. On the lot I pass each day there is a big Dogwood that has bloomed in all its glory and below are ruby red Azaleas and its been quite a sight. But there is a time for everything and yesterday I noticed the blooms were looking a little sad.

I hate to not have the pleasure of seeing that sight any longer but pretty soon the fields will turn green with grain and corn stalks will poke up and I'll notice other gifts of Nature. The cycle of life will keep right on doing what it is suppose to do. And that's quite alright with me, even if I am a little reluctant to let go of the beauty of Dogwood Trees and Azaleas as they fade away until next year.
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Friday, April 04, 2008

In the Eyes of a Child

I grew up here in the south. I was a little girl when segregation was well in place but being challenged strongly, and rightly so. I can remember going to the Doctor's office and there being two waiting rooms, one for white people and one for "colored" people. There were two entrances from the outside but only a single wall that separated the two rooms on the inside that both opened up to the reception area. You could hear the people on the other side of the wall but you couldn't see them.

One of my earliest memories is on a visit to the Dr.'s office I was curious and peeked around the wall at the very same time another little girl on the other side was peeking around too. We smiled at each other. And right there in the middle, while her Mama sat reading a magazine on the colored side and my mother did the same on the white side, she and I sat down in the floor and giggled and whispered like little girls will do.

While the country was in turmoil, while grown men and women were trying to figure out how to overcome racial problems, two little girls somewhere in Georgia in 1962 didn't seem to have a problem at all that our skin colors were different.

40 years ago today Martin Luther King died for this cause. What a shame he had to. How sad for his wife and children. But how awesome was he to fight for what he believed in, for what was right, for generations to come. Because of his leadership in civil rights, there is no wall separating little girls in a Dr.'s office today.

I often wonder if that little girl remembers that day when we played together in a segregated Dr.'s office. In all our innocence, she and I understood things that adults refused to see. We are all the same, we are people and what in the world does skin color have to do with anything?

Thursday, April 03, 2008

What's in a Name

For some reason lately I've been thinking about my father's side of the family and the names my grandmother gave her children and the names they actually ended up being known as. It's quite odd really.

There was a daughter named Ealah. There's a name you don't hear very often. My Daddy was born and named Jack but little Ealah reportedly would say, "Look at the little "felly" (trying to say fellow) and so he was known his whole life by everyone as "Felly."

Another son was named R.C. , really and truly, that was his legal name, just the initials, they stood for nothing I was told when I asked, his name was simply R.C., but he was called "Tom."

There was a son named " Carl Miller." That was his first name, and he was always called both names, I knew him as "Uncle Carl Miller."

The oldest son was named James but he was forever called "Bully." I know not why really unless he bullied the younger kids. He was the only one I never got to know really well, he always scared me a little, he was a gruff, tough talking man, and so maybe his name was appropriate.

Then there came another daughter named Janice but for reasons I do not know, we called her Cindy. As far as I know she was called Cindy from birth.

The two youngest sons were named Robert, called Bobby, which was normal and then Glenn, known as Glenn.

Strange family of names now that I really think about it. When you're a child you sometimes don't question things and just accept names. I grew up loving all these Aunts and Uncles, although there were lost years between us after my parent's divorced. To me it was normal to have an Aunt Ealah and an Uncle Carl Miller. Go figure.