Monday, October 20, 2008

I'm Ready

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
--
Soren Kierkegaard


After a few days of just letting myself feel a little defeated with life in general, I'm back to understanding that I must keep fighting to be where I want to be. I'm so close to being done with the Chemo and at least that will be behind me. If they say radiation, I can handle that too. I'm not fond of the radiation doctor but he is one of the best in this area and getting another Dr. at this point makes little sense to me. Plus I'm getting ahead of things here, there is still the chance that they don't recommend radiation. Another Pet Scan will let us know where we stand.
So, this week, the last Chemo and then we'll go from there. I'm ready for whatever happens. Fighting Cancer, or any disease can be a lonely thing. No matter how much support you have, no matter how many people really care, you are basically alone in it, alone with your thoughts, alone with your fear. You put on a brave face for the people who want so badly to help you but what really helps is when you accept it yourself and face it head on. During the Chemo I've been able to just sort of not think about much but getting through whatever it brought but the time is coming to move forward and I'm ready.

20 comments:

linda said...

good morning robbin :)
you sound like you are stronger and ready for the week to come. I hear you and what you are saying ... know I am hear to listen and help in that way...while I can't hold your hand, I can listen to your rants and cheer you on to the end of this...someday you will be in washington with your dear granddaughter and son, this hell behind you...keep your eye on the prize, dear woman.

Me Maw said...

That feeling of lonliness can be quite overwhelming...

I wish I could be there to hold your hand during your final treatment. I can't, but I know The One who can...

May God comfort you with His Presence in a special way this week.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Good morning Linda, thank you for your words, and I hope you are feeling better. Keeping my eyes on that prize.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thank you Me Maw, and yep, he's with me always, this I know. I wish you could be her too though.

Tammy said...

I am proud to call you my friend and fellow warrior! We are all truly alone ( except for God)in our fight, but our friend's can help us around the dark corners.

Love
T

Memaw's memories said...

The end of these treatments is in sight. I'm praying that you won't need radiation. And then you can start feeling better again.

Good thoughts to you, keep on keeping on.

Cottage Rose said...

Hey Robbin; I will be praying for you, that you won't need any more treatments. I have to say that you are an inspiration too me. May the Lord give you strength and peace. Bless you dear friend.

hugs;
Alaura

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Yes they can Tammy, and I'm thankful for you.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thanks Shirley, if I can get through this one, I'm so ready to go back to work. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Hi Alaura, it is so nice to see you here always. Thank you for your prayers and I hope your week is going well.

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