The Phases of My Life

I believe we live our lives in "phases". Not everyone goes through the same phases but I still think that all lives have them. I think we live them out and then move on to the next one. I don't know for sure if we govern them or if it is our fate that holds the control, of course that is an age old question.
The transitional period between these phases can be hard but finally you move into the next place and discover new things, new challenges to face and overcome.
It is in the transitional period where I sit these days, and you know what I mean. You feel like your life is in limbo or you are in a rut. It feels like I'm on the edge of a mountain just waiting for fate to give me that final nudge, just enough to push me over into the next phase of my life.
Did I learn lessons from the previous phases to help me sail through this one? Will this be the hardest of all and am I up to it? My head tells me the time has come that this part of my life will include some hard things, things that come with age. Loss. I've been lucky so far that I've not lost many people in my life. My heart tells me that I will learn things about myself that perhaps I've not yet discovered.
At any rate, change is coming. Whether I choose to go ahead and jump or wait for fate's hand to push me over I know that the time is near and I'll meet it will excitement,wonder, and a bit of fear. That's what life is all about. You just never know what's around the corner, do you?

More Cowboys, horses and kids.

Browsing for more Cowboy Art I came across this site and this drawing. Check him out, his site is interesting.

Rememories

As I get ready to go to Washington to visit my children I keep remembering the last time I went and how magical it was. If you missed my story on the whales read here. One thing I didn't mention was that we visited Chief Seattle's Grave site. I couldn't get really close because there was a woman there meditating and we didn't want to disturb her but it was very cool to get to see where he is actually buried. (Native American History and Heritage is an interest of mine.)
Anyway, the trip last time was so perfect in so many ways, My DIL and I surprised my son as he didn't know I was coming, we saw the whales, I saw Chief Seattle's grave. Just good memories. This trip will be not so exciting but just as good. Any time is good I get to spend time with that granddaughter of mine! Hang on Haleigh, Grandma is coming soon!!!

Spring is Cold!

Ok, so technically it is not Spring yet, this morning Winter reminded us down here in the South that he's still around. Our morning walk turned out to be a little chilly and we had to dig out our heavy sweats and socks but it was quite refreshing. The wind proved to be too much on the road but we have a nice patch of woods behind our houses and a path worn down by deer hunters and so the trees buffered the wind and we felt only the bright warm sunshine with just a tiny bit of a nip. We got our two miles in.
I go in late this morning to work and I am working for someone else tomorrow so my weekend is full of work and the Dr. is out of town so business will be slow. We hate those days. But it does give you time to get in some paperwork.
There's a little girl today who is celebrating her ninth birthday. She doesn't know me and I don't know her now but I still feel her in my heart and the warmth of her body as I held her as a baby next to my me in the warm sunshine. If circumstances had of been different I might be sharing this day with her. Instead I hope somewhere in her being she feels a tiny bit of warmth and knows there is somebody who loves her very much. Life is unfair sometimes but you got to roll with flow, huh?

Spring Time is Pink

If you've never seen Cherry Trees in full bloom you don't know what you are missing. They take your breath away. Today is the start of the Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon. They are the same trees that are in D.C. and Macon boasts on having 300,000 of them. You know Spring is here when you witness them. Pictures are pretty of them but until you see the real thing, you just can't imagine their beauty.

People!

Working in Retail can be exhausting. I know I've said this before but it is true and today was a perfect example. Nobody can wait their turn, can't wait a week for their glasses, can't see out of their glasses, wants money back, YOU DO TAKE MY INSURANCE! and on and on and on. You come home and feel like you've been literally beat up. Just part of the job and things get better and people bring in brownies to thank you for being so nice and they come in and tell you how they love their glasses and all is well for a while and then BAM! You can do nothing right.
You learn not to take it personally and you learn to smile and be nice no matter how mean they are to you and like I said it is just part of it. But I got to tell you it ain't easy sometimes!
Ok, I'll stop moaning about that. The other news is my younger son, the policeman, bought himself a motorcycle. GREAT! Now I've got another thing to worry about. Thanks Matthew. He'll enjoy it though. I've ridden on the back of a motorcycle in my younger days enough to know the freedom you feel. I'm happy for him.
I have only a little over two weeks to go before I go on Vacation and get to see this motorcycle in person. I am so ready.
So, that's about all that is going on here. I get off a little early tomorrow afternoon and so that's a good thing. But I have to work all weekend, including Sunday. But I'll survive. Two and a half weeks, I'll be in the beautiful Pacific Northwest!!! YAY!

Back to Walking

Up until last summer my mother and I walked about two miles a day for at least five days a week. It got hot, we got busy, we made excuses and before you know it we were out of the habit. But the truth is I feel soooo much better when I am doing this and so this morning we started again. We are going to shoot for at least three days a week. This morning we walked a mile and a quarter, not a bad start. Man...could I tell I was out of shape, but adding a little bit of distance and speed everyday and we'll soon be back where we were.
I'd also forgotten how much more you get out of the walk than just physical exercise. It's good for the soul too. We live out in the country and we live on a paved road surrounded by woods. This morning we passed a creek where we saw two wild ducks taking a swim. We saw a huge nest build by some huge bird, maybe a buzzard. We smelled he sweetness of spring about to spring. It felt good to stretch those legs and take deep breaths! I challenge you! Get out and walk! You won't be sorry.
It is better if you have a partner, that way it easier to not find excuses because that other person is counting on you.
So I feel good this morning and ready to start my day!

Celebrating Dr. Seuss's Birthday

I meant to share this really cool site I found. It polarizes your pictures, gives them a border, you don't have to down load anything. This is a picture of my Grandchild I did. I like the look of it. Click here.

A bit of a Revelation

Ok, indulge me here for a moment. As I near my 50th birthday,(less than two months away)and while I'm in the midst of this "rite of passage" (perimenopause)I seem to be seeking the meaning of "me". Ok, ok, what I mean is, what am I here for? And as bad as it may seem to say this, (believe me I feel guilty) I've decided it is time for me to be .....selfish. There, I said it. It is no secret that women often live their whole lives trying to DO, trying to BE, trying to MAKE happiness for everyone else. And the revelation that I've come to or almost have come to, is that you simply cannot make everyone happy. I've said this, I've been told this, it is not a new statement to me, but I've never really bought into it. I've always tried to think that I could make everyone happy. And you know what, you can to a degree but guess who ends up feeling cheated? Guess who ends up NOT happy?
And so, that being said the gift I'm giving myself for my big birthday is to do what I want to do that makes me feel good. Selfish isn't it??
And now, one other little thing that I guess I've come to realize is this. When someone does something that would in the past upset me, guess what? I choose not to let it bother me, and not because I'm a nice person who turns the other cheek, I choose to not become upset for ME!
I don't want to be upset! (This is wisdom that apparently doesn't come to you until you near 50 years of age.)
And so I say "Bring it on!" I'm ready for whatever the rite of passage has to offer me. And I'm ready for the big 5-0 too. I'm going to be one Wise, Selfish, and Happy woman!

Restful Sunday

Wow, I accomplished very little today, but it was a nice restful day. I watched movies, and napped and the day was beautiful, nice temp, beautiful sunshine so my little dog and I took a nice walk in the woods.
Here's a cool site I found if you like music, especially oldies.
Hope you have a good coming week, I plan to!

On Daughter In Laws

Last week I had a patient come in that I know and she was telling me that she'd recently had to quit work to take care of her elderly parents. She sold her house and moved in with them but soon after, her son moved in too after he and his wife had separated and then soon after her other son left his wife and showed up with three children as well. WOW! The conversation led to daughter in laws. She said her sons had always been attracted to looney tune girls and they'd both married one. She said, "I wish they'd let ME pick out their next wives!"
WOW, I'd never ever say that! Not that I don't know about looney tune DIL's but who's to say I could do better.
Mother's of sons know all too well that it's not just men who can abuse their spouses, women can do a pretty good job mentally abusing men!
I have one son who sees himself with a certain kind of woman and he's so wrong and until he sees this I fear he will not find the right mate. The person he really really falls in love with might not really "look" like he thinks she will. He's working with this right now, going through a period of learning and realizing certain things and it's interesting watching him do this. He's realizing who his wife really is and that she may not be who he is suppose to be with even though for the last seven years he's thought so. I'm hoping when he decides he's done being Used, the right person comes along and knocks his socks off and she may not be drop dead gorgeous but she will be to him.
I have another DIL that I had a hard time accepting. She wasn't who I had pictured for my younger son. First of all they were TOO young. And he was graduating from high school, joining the Navy and getting married all at one time, it was too much for me to handle. But he was a man at eighteen and sure he was in love and so.....what's a mother to do? I had to trust his decision and hope for the best. And it has been best. They've had their ups and downs like all married couples but they are fine. And I love her and wouldn't trade her in for anybody else!
So NOPE, I would never pick my son's mates. I'd probably make a big big mess!
Before my older son got married I used to kid my younger son's wife and tell her she was my favorite DIL (she was my only one at that time.) But guess what Amy, you're still my favorite DIL and always will be. (And I'm not just saying that because you read my blog and she doesn't!)
For my older son and his wife I hope they can discover that they've tried but all they do is make each other miserable and they can move on. Sometimes that happens.

Back to Work

Well, my two days off did happen, although someone's child was ill one day, they worked it out for me, which I appreciate very much.
Today was pleasant. I have to work tomorrow but I'm off on Sunday.
Nothing much interesting going on, I have talked to J, my son, whom I've not heard from for a few weeks, but all is well, at least he is handling things.
I visited my mother a while yesterday, haven't spent any real time with her for awhile.
Some Drama going on between my girls at work, and I've got to deal with that, but not until Tuesday, so all is well in my world.
Tired tonight and I've got three movies from Netflix and that's what I'm doing tonight probably.
Happy Friday night to all!

Off for two days, I hope

When you work a retail job as I do, weekends aren't something you have a lot of and so the two days you get off are sometimes in the middle of the week. So, tomorrow's my weekend, sort of. I'm ready because I've worked seven days straight and I've missed some days off in the last few weeks because every one's been sick at the store and so...I am ready!
Today was pretty uneventful and boring. That's a good thing sometimes. I'm tired and am going to bed early I think. And I get to wake up whenever I wake up! YAY!

Just trying to Manage

When you work in an office with a small group of people, it's easy to get close to them and sometimes you know things about them that you don't know about your immediate family members. When you are the supervisor of this small group of people it gets hard if you have reason to do what our company calls a "developmental session" with one of them. Today I had to do that. This particular person is having a hard time performing somethings that are required of her and she is so tender hearted, I let it go much longer than I should have. Today was the day I had to do it.
She expected it as it has to do with quality of sales and she'd seen the report for the end of the month. She and I do talk about it every month but I've never sat down with her, written it all up and had her sign it. We set some goals and some training that will help her (I hope) and she took it all pretty well. I made it as positive as I could.
Mostly being a manager is no different from being a fellow human being, I just try to treat people as I would want them to treat me. I fail at this sometimes in the heat of a moment but I strive very hard. Managing people is the second hardest job I've ever done. The first was raising children and actually the two are not that different, are they?

Dreaming Again

Today is my Sunday to work. It's the end of our month at work and so I've got plenty of paperwork to do as I also do repairs on glasses. Don't usually sell too many glasses on Sunday as the Dr. of course doesn't work on Sundays but sometimes people bring in outside Rx's. Usually I have plenty of time to close out the month and so forth. A quiet day.
I'm obsessed at the moment with Cowboy Art and Horse Art. I'd love to own a cabin out in the middle of nowhere and I'd collect this kind of art. I'm dreaming this morning as you can tell. So I'll just tuck the dream away in this Cedar Chest and maybe I'll bring it out one day, you never know.
Anyhow.........hope you have a relaxing Sunday and a good coming week.

A Total Eclipse of the Moon

AS I was driving home tonight, something caught my eye in the sky. It looked like a tiny sliver of light and then lo and behold I realized what I was seeing. It was a spectacular show.

Rough Night

Really bad weather last night, surrounded by tornadoes touching down around in almost every county surrounding me. Lots of damage and people dead or hurt. I slept with one eye open and am glad that night is over.
Today the sun is shining as if nothing happened but my heart goes out to all those that were hit.
I go in late today and close. Usually I do that on Tuesday but schedule is a little different this week. So......I'm in for a long day.
Anyway, hope everyone has a nice Friday.

Just had to share this pic of my best friend's Beagle, Dory, and her favorite position on their couch.

It's a Fat World After All!!!

Today while I ate lunch I had bought the newest Weight Watcher's magazine to read while I ate, and I came across this article about Global Obesity. Remember how we were told to clean our plates because there were starving children in China that would be happy to get that food?? Well.......those kids are now almost 30% overweight! AND......guess what?? French women ARE getting fat! In 1979 there was one Mcdonald's in France. Today, over 1000. (So, it's our fault!) Those Chinese people used to use bikes as their main means of transportation, of course now they have more cars. And get this, In Britain one household in four no longer even owns a dining room table to have meals, they eat in front of the TV. So, even though we are leading the pack in obesity here in the USA at 74% of the population being overweight, the rest of the world is close behind.
So there you have it. Global Warming may not destroy us at all, it could be we just eat ourselves to death and explode! Sad, indeed.