Last week I had a patient come in that I know and she was telling me that she'd recently had to quit work to take care of her elderly parents. She sold her house and moved in with them but soon after, her son moved in too after he and his wife had separated and then soon after her other son left his wife and showed up with three children as well. WOW! The conversation led to daughter in laws. She said her sons had always been attracted to looney tune girls and they'd both married one. She said, "I wish they'd let ME pick out their next wives!"
WOW, I'd never ever say that! Not that I don't know about looney tune DIL's but who's to say I could do better.
Mother's of sons know all too well that it's not just men who can abuse their spouses, women can do a pretty good job mentally abusing men!
I have one son who sees himself with a certain kind of woman and he's so wrong and until he sees this I fear he will not find the right mate. The person he really really falls in love with might not really "look" like he thinks she will. He's working with this right now, going through a period of learning and realizing certain things and it's interesting watching him do this. He's realizing who his wife really is and that she may not be who he is suppose to be with even though for the last seven years he's thought so. I'm hoping when he decides he's done being Used, the right person comes along and knocks his socks off and she may not be drop dead gorgeous but she will be to him.
I have another DIL that I had a hard time accepting. She wasn't who I had pictured for my younger son. First of all they were TOO young. And he was graduating from high school, joining the Navy and getting married all at one time, it was too much for me to handle. But he was a man at eighteen and sure he was in love and so.....what's a mother to do? I had to trust his decision and hope for the best. And it has been best. They've had their ups and downs like all married couples but they are fine. And I love her and wouldn't trade her in for anybody else!
So NOPE, I would never pick my son's mates. I'd probably make a big big mess!
Before my older son got married I used to kid my younger son's wife and tell her she was my favorite DIL (she was my only one at that time.) But guess what Amy, you're still my favorite DIL and always will be. (And I'm not just saying that because you read my blog and she doesn't!)
For my older son and his wife I hope they can discover that they've tried but all they do is make each other miserable and they can move on. Sometimes that happens.
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