Friday, August 01, 2008

Closing up a Life and the Mystery of the Red Cap

Today I have to deal with finishing up Jonathan's life at least the one he left here on this earth. It took a long time to get the death certificates and finally they came yesterday. This means I can now get his car in my name. After that I have to get a tag and temporary insurance and get it cleaned up and try and sell it.
That money goes to the funeral home.

I hope we can sell it. It's an older car, 1999 Grandam but in good condition and I hope it will sell fast, I can hardly bare to look at it much longer. He loved his car. I loaned him the money to get it a few years back (loaned meaning I knew I'd never get paid back and I didn't care but I pushed him to try for his on own since of worth but of course he didn't. He made two payments but then things got rough for him and then he'd avoid me because he felt guilty and then I'd call him and tell him it was ok. My poor Jonathan. How hard his struggle was here and how helpless he felt at the end and it breaks my heart to the core.

But, I got to get this taken care of which means facing the truth that he is really and truly gone.
Although I think he is messing with me! He had a Red Baseball Cap from one of the jobs he'd held down last summer and I'd been wearing it around here to cover my bald head, I liked it mostly because it was his. Although my hair is short short short and very thin, I'm shedding so I figured he got mad I was messing up his red hat and he's hid it from me, I can't find that hat anywhere!!! Maybe when I'm done shedding it will show back up!
And so that's my day today, and I'm feeling pretty good. Going to do this early so as to not get in that heat.
Good Day to all of you.

4 comments:

Sage said...

Oh dear one, I'm sending strength today to deal with the car. Hard things to do to close up a life. We are waiting for the death certificates too. But my brother said he got the bill from the funeral home yesterday and that he'd send out copies......don't know if I want to see that!

Meanwhile, your cap is missing! Ummm, wonder where it is? But glad your feeling pretty good. You have amazing strength girl, and I don't think you can imagine how much I respect you and honor you for the way you are handling all the stuff thrown in your path this year.

I hope you get your tasks taken care of, but do stay out of the heat. I think heat can do strange things when mixed with different medications, so be careful. I'll just try to keep cool at the wedding I'm heading to, which means no panty hose for me!

Hugs and blessings,
Marge

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thanks Marge, I got it all done, and yep, tough stuff seeing the death certificate of your child and then the reason for his death, rough, but it's done and I got the car title applied for and I got some shopping done and I went to my job and saw some of my people I work with and now I'm home ready for a nap where it is cool.
Have fun at the wedding and I'm with you on the panty hose, way too hot for that!
Love, ya!

linda said...

dear robbin, you are one tough woman! You have been through so much in the short time I have come to know you and always ALWAYS come up smiling, at least in your blog!

and you are still feeling well? that's really remarkable, isn't it? shouldn't you be feeling something? well, for whatever reason, I am so happy you are doing well, you most definitely deserve to be! I think you are right about the red hat....he hid it :) just so you know he is around watching over you...it's a little sign, at least that's what I believe.

stay out of that blasted heat! sorry I have been so quiet....just trying to deal with the depression and so don't have much energy combined with everything else...but I pop in every afternoon and see how you are.

xoxoxoxox

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Linda, hey, thanks for checking on me, I am doing so well, of course I have the fatique and indegestion and a sore throat but compared to what it could be, I don't complain and I just take it one day at a time and see what happens day by day. I know something is going on there but I am so glad I handled that Taxol as well as I did, and I do have a nagging headache, so I am not symptom free, but I am strong and my body so far is doing a good job.
And yep, that heat is bad!
Love ya bunches, fight that old depression as best as you can, I know how hard that is.