A Real Day off at Last

Today is my first real day off in a while that is all mine, sort of.
Still in the middle of cleaning and decluttering my house and today it will be my bedroom I think. It is hard for me to throw things out or give things away. I must be selfish or something but much of what I have are things people have given me through the years and I feel guilty getting rid of those things. It's hard! But one only has so much room.
Right now I'm about to have some breakfast. My son is not up yet, and I have a little solitude for a while yet. He is in the "stay up all night" and "sleep all day" routine. That's ok for now. This journey of his is a process and this time he seems to accept the fact that his marriage is over and can't work and that is a step in the right direction. It's just that when he gets so down on himself he is not pleasant but he is trying and I am trying and there has to be a pay off for that somewhere down the line, doesn't there?
In three more days I will reach the age of 50. It's like I'm counting down to an explosion or a lift off or something. As if I'm going to wake up and feel any different.
And so, that's where I am today. Not really anywhere but moving right along.