'Round and 'Round and 'Round I Go!

I don't know how people who abuse prescription pain pills function during the day. Maybe their bodies get used to them but I hate taking them. They make me groggy, the sleep I get from them is not a restful one and I wake up with a hangover! So I'm working on a pot of coffee this morning. But my tooth doesn't hurt!
I have to work today and it is suppose to rain, which we still need badly. I don't mind rainy days at all. I like them.

As usual when I'm around my grandchild my mind is working for a solution to be closer to her. It nearly drives me nuts. There are so many factors to consider. My job, my mother, the fact that my son and his wife may not settle down where they are now, money, my best friend and her little girl(family to me) are here and there's my other son. AH!!!!!!!! Same old story, no solution.

Part of me just wants to throw caution to the wind and just MOVE and let the chips fall where they may. They say home is where the heart is but my heart never has found a home. I feel misplaced and out of place and not where I'm suppose to be.
And yet, I can't find the courage within me to do what I want to do.

I know the people around me wish I'd decide what I want to do. I am growing weary and depressed and I must decide what I want and need and just do it. It's like being on a carousel and going around and around. And if the decision is so hard to make for me, if there's something not quite right about it, something that doesn't feel right, there must be a reason and I guess that reason will be revealed, (I hope) and then maybe it will be clear to me what I should do.