Some days I wake up calm and collected. This is not one of those times. This morning I am not calm and no where near collected.
What I am feeling is the fact that this life of mine won't last forever and I need to learn not to waste a moment doing things I don't like or being where I don't want to be. Sounds easy to fix but it's not so easy for me. And so I wonder why it's not. Am I my own obstacle? Why do I constantly feel so alone? How is it that I ended up all alone? It wasn't suppose to be like this.
Excuse me while I feel a little sorry for myself, but don't worry, as my friend always says, "This too shall pass." And so it will.
2 comments:
I left a comment on this earlier, but I guess the cyber monster ate it!!
I know what you are feeling. I think at this time in our lives we come face to face with our mortality and realize that our time here is finite. I always think of that Bon Jovi song, "It's My Life". It goes; "It's my life, it's now or never, I ain't gonna live forever; I just want to live while I'm alive. It's my life". I can be with a group of people and still feel alone. I believe that's because I am not really relating with them as to what is going on in my life at this time. I certainly never thought my life would unfold as it has. All these twists and turns have taken a toll on me. I really don't think it's easy to fix at all. I don't like the idea of being alone, either. If I never remarry, I am going to try to make my life as fulfilling as I can. I am not going to depend on a man doing that for me.
I'm sorry for rambling on so. I'm trying to explain how I feel, but I know my communication skills leave a lot to be desired!
Your communication skills are just fine. I love that song, I had forgotten those words but thank you for reminding me. I decided long ago that we can't depend on anyone else for our own happiness, it's too much pressure to put on that person for sure.
I know what you mean about feeling alone even among people. I've felt that way most of my life. Most of the time I am fine with it, but every once in awhile I get lonesome. Guess that's where I'm right now.
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