I had a pretty good night's sleep but woke up really early again. I woke up this morning thinking of Vicki, one of my work associates and friend. She and her family have a surprise cook-out Hawaiian Style Anniversary party planed today for her parent's 30'th wedding date. I hope they pull it off as a surprise and I hope all goes well.
Back in November when I planned the 70th birthday party for my mother and I look back now it makes me so happy we did that. Not only did it mean so much to her but Jonathan was there and it was a very rare thing for him to participate in family things. But from the time I mentioned it to him, he promised he would be there and although I held my breath and tried to not set my self up to be disappointed if that day turned out to be one that he couldn't deal with being with people, there he was, so full of life and so glad to see his brother and so glad to celebrate the milestone with his grandmother. After the party he and his brother and me sat up half the night talking and it was a gift to me, to have him there, not angry at anyone, being with us and just being at peace.
And we go family pictures of us that we wouldn't have had.
IT was more of a gift than I ever knew at that time.
As for me, I feel ok this morning. Not as good as yesterday, but still not bad. Just a little off, just a little tired but I'm going to try and get some neglected housework done, and get to cooking me some food, I'm all out of easy stuff.
Also I have to go finish trying to get my mom's computer going again and then we'll see what else I can get into.
Matthew wants me to consider coming on out to Washington to have my radiation treatments. I'm not sure that will work, but that's a long way off and we'll see how I can work it out. With my job transfer, it could be tricky.
And so that is going to be my pretty boring day. I shouldn't complain so much, I'm not really feeling bad at all. I'm just not where I want to be and I guess that is back to normal, without cancer and with two sons in my life. But that is not the way it is so I face the reality with as much confidence that I can and that is that one day not too far away, I'll have a "new start" on a new part of my life. IT is my goal, it is what I dream of and it is my vision.
Anyway, happy Party Vicki, I love you and am thinking of ya'll today, have a great party!