Sunday, July 27, 2008

Looking out From my Chemo World

Ok, well I didn't come out too bad yesterday from my mom's Yard Sale Day. I got two blouses, (one I like, the other one, not so much). I got a pair of dangley earrings, since I've not made my own. And I got a denim baseball cap (caps are a part of my wardrobe these days). SO not anything I won't use at least.

I had a nice phone conversation with my granddaughter and my son on the phone. That's always good for my spirit. And we had a rainy afternoon here so I watched movies.
It's weird to explain how I feel. I don't feel all that great, I don't feel all that sick, I just feel weird. And no energy and well, I guess this is what it feels like to have chemo drugs in your body. But the last few days I feel my mind is sort of dull, my thoughts strange, I don't feel like myself. Maybe just my imagination.

This Tuesday, if all is ok with my blood I will have the second treatment.

Anyway, I've got a bad case of cabin fever and actually look forward to getting to go someplace on Tuesday. Even if I do have to have a chemo treatment. That's pretty sad I guess.
In many ways I feel like I'm just a bystander in the world right now. Everyone is living their lives and doing what it is they do. I am just here, peeking out in the world and really wanting to live my life too.

But then I remember that I've not had all that bad a time with this round and I'm grateful. I'm thankful that I will get through this and go on to live my life, where I want to. I am reminded that life has it ups and downs and I know I am strong. And I know that I'll have better days ahead.

It's a rainy day again today, I like rainy days. Hoping you all have a good and restful Sunday.


Mary said...

You seem to be doing great at coping with this horrendous treatment. Yes, you will get through this and go on with life - and a wonderful life it will be.

I like rainy days too if I don't have to drive anywhere and can curl up and enjoy the pitter-pat of rain drops and watch the world around me soak it up. The air always feels so clean and fresh afterwards.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Hey Mary, yep, I got to get through it cause I got stuff to do and that keeps me going.
Me too on the rainy days, I want to stay home and enjoy them,
have a good day.

linda said...

hi robbin...thank you for your support on my blog. I wasn't sure what would happen after my rant but it was really bothering me so that's that. I am glad I could provide some support for your friend's daughter. Tough situation.

Anyway, you don't sound like you are feeling too well but not too sick either. But having that feeling of the world passing you by is sure one I can speak to! Don't worry. It's not good for you. Some day, and it will come fast, you will get your life back. Then you will be free to do whatever you like. In the meantime, try to take it easy, enjoy that blessed rain and eat right. Rest up for that chemo treatment coming up too. :/

Velvet Sacks said...

You've been going through so much in your life that I wonder if you're aware of how much you're giving to others.

When I need a dose of inspiration, I come here. When I feel my energy flagging and want to quit, I read your words and push on. When the picture of my day has been scribbled on by petty annoyances, I come here to put them in perspective and erase them.

You're a survivor, Robbin, in more ways than one, and I admire you for your strength, your honesty, your positive attitude, and for sharing it all with the rest of us.

Cottage Rose said...

My Dear friend lean on the Lord, he will be with you every step of the way with out fail. I am glad to hear that you are doing well with the treatment. And this to shall pass.

I too love rainy days, most people do I wonder why that is. Well any way they are great for movie watching . God Bless you friend.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Hi Linda, yes thanks for that link, I think her mother can understand it more because she'd always thought in the past it wasn't a real disease and now her daughter had it.
I feel like my blog goes from me griving Jonathan to my Chemo but for me that is my life right now and I guess and mostly I write for me, the people who stop in to support me are bonuses and really keep me going.
You keep going too! Got to be a rainbow soon.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Velvet, it is a life in lesson I am learning. I shudder to think what I used to think was so important, I know now, I have been somewhat humbled. And I also know for sure I'll get through this, and if I my determination helps somebody, then I am happy. I have been dealt a lot to deal with all at one time but I am traveling roads many before me have and as human beings most of us are a lot stronger than we think. Thanks for coming by, you always make me feel better.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Hey Alaura, almost nice to see you here, and I appreciate your inspiring words always. I've watched two movies today and slept through most of the last one. LOL.
Hope you have a good upcoming week, thanks again for stopping in.