Sunday, June 01, 2008

Forever Changed

I just wanted to let everyone know I am still in a bit of a daze and my heart is broken in two. I can't say I am ok yet because I am not and I will not be for sometime. I will have to deal with it in my own way and take it one day at a time. But I wanted to let everyone know I've read the comments and appreciated each and everyone and that I will be back to blogging. It is something I love and I consider my readers my true friends as we share each other lives, good and bad.
When something like this happens, you really find out how good people are. We've had so many calls, so much food, so many cards. Things are starting to quiet down now and me and my family are dealing with our grief as best we can.
Jonathan suffered depression for a long time, he was in more pain than most people ever have to deal with on a daily basis. He never really thought he deserved anyone's love but I hope he saw all the people whose lives he'd touched in a postive way. I am no longer carrying his pain, like I've done for the last ten years, for it is gone and I know he is at peace. The pain I have now is my own, for the loss of a very special person that I was honored to have been his mother for the last 30 years.
I love you all and I'll be back soon. I'll need you guys to get through the process, and I know you'll be there to listen to me.
P.S. A special thanks to Aisling and Chellie, you both know I love you. And to my beautiful daughter in law who posted when I couldn't, I know it wasn't easy for her but she did it beautifully with love and grace.


Aisling said...


I'm glad you've posted this note. It is good to hear from you. I know this will be a long hard road... but you are strong and amazing.

I wish I had words of wisdom to share... but no wisdom can take away the pain of such loss. I've missed your presence on line, but will understand if you have quiet phases of introspection. Having said that, please know that you can call or write to me any time when quiet introspection isn't working!

love and hugs,

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thank you Aisling, isn't it funny how you can sometimes feel closer to someone whose face you've never seen than to people standing right beside you. But I am a little weird anyway and so it fits.

Chellie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chellie said...

So glad to see you back. I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I love you.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thank you Chellie, I love you too and I am so glad you sent me all those prayers, got me through.

GreenishLady said...

Robbin, though I'd only just encountered your blog, I think in some way it's right that I'm here too to say simply that I'm here, I'm thinking of you and sending prayers out for healing and comfort for you and your family. Your grace in what you write here is so touching.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thank you greenishlady, and thank you for being here.