The tooth I had pulled today was determined it was staying and so although I'm not in pain, thanks to the Darvoset, my jaw is sore and I feel like I've been punched. He had to really work at getting that sucker out. It was rough but I went to work and worked the rest of the day with no problems.
I must be going through the Anger stage of grief, because I'm....well, I'm just pissed. Not even particularly at anyone or anything, I'm just MAD. And I don't usually get that way.
So, I picked a branch of Honeysuckle, it always makes me smile and brought it into the house with me. I tried to write a Haiku to go with the picture, but no poetry in my soul tonight. But then again I am drugged.
I am just MAD! And maybe there are things and people in particular that I'm mad at.
And maybe I am mad at Jonathan, I don't know. I'm mad with Cancer, I'm mad with my Aunt Ellen who I guess thought she was helping me when she emails me and tells me even if they tell me this can't be cured to continue my plans to move. HUH? Does she know something I don't know, I mean Cancer is scary for sure but I wasn't thinking in terms of not being cured.
I'm mad cause my jaw hurts, I'm mad cause I'm not in Washington now. I'm mad because I can't spell. I just am MAD!
I'm mad because Saturday is Jonathan's birthday and now when I think of his birth, I have to think of his death as well. I'm mad because I'm mad!
I'm just angry. I need to scream and shout and beat something up.
So, just ignore me tonight, I'll be ok. I'm going to bed and maybe I'll have sweet dreams filled with Honeysuckle smells and not wake up MAD. But for right now, that's what I am. And so I'll go with it.