Monday, June 30, 2008

Confessions

I can't sleep.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) is the trip to the Chemo Doctor. And I'm scared.
I'm not nearly as OK as people think I am.
I worry about upsetting people.

I ate Pringles today, not low fat either.
It bothers me now when people get so upset about unimportant stuff.
I wish I could hear Jonathan's voice again.
I don't really want to hear about that person you knew who had chemo and lost all their hair, or the one you knew that looked so good up until the week before she died.
Did I mention I'm SCARED?

5 comments:

Memaw's memories said...

I am scared for you too. I don't think we should have to face this kind of stuff when we are older. But then, we shouldn't have to face it when we are young either.

I had a tumor removed 5 years ago, and I remember not wanting to go to the chemo and radiation people. Fortunately, after several scans, they decided I didn't need either. Now I have to do a test periodically to see if it has started growing again, and I fear that each time.

I don't worry about the small stuff any more either. I just try to live each day ready for whatever comes my way.

I hope things go well for you. Take a friend with you. That's what helped me more than anything. Just having someone(besides a family member)to help me through.

Tammy said...

I'd worry if you were not scared Robbin. Just remember how far medicine has come and each persons body handles treatment differently.

Focus on seeing yourself cancer free, watching a movie while snuggled on the couch with your granddaughter and living in WA.

Block out everthing negative (no guilt). If you need me email me and I'll call you ASAP!

Warm, don't worry, HUGS

Aisling said...

Robbin, I'm sending huge hugs of love and healing energy, and will be praying for you throughout this process.

love,
Aising

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Thanks Shirley, Tammy, and Aisling. I'll just be glad when I get this part over with and know the plan, and exactly what I'm dealing with. Tammy I like that Vision and will take it with me throughout this ordeal. And it IS going to be ok, this I know. Fear is just hard to face.

TheFutureMrsClare said...

It's OK to be scared. I'd be scared too. But you have A TON of people thinking about you and praying for you. "Good vibrations" as you call them, are coming your way. If I was there to hug you I would.