Friday, June 06, 2008

The Plan for Today


My mother is determined we are going to take care of the many thank you cards we have to send out and it has to be today. And that's ok by me, the only thing is I can hardly concentrate five minutes on anything so I hope I can get through it.
And she has so carefully kept records of who did what, who called, who sent cards, who came to the house, who came to the service, who brought food. And she is determined that we will not just send out the preprinted ones the Funeral home includes in the funeral package, each one has to have a personal handwritten note inside because she says she hates it when she gets one that is just the printed verse. And it will keep us busy, and Lord knows we need to keep busy these days.
My mother is a take charge, take over, very opinionated person and I had to fight tooth and nail to get the service just like I wanted and it was but without hurting her feelings and making her feel like she was being left out. I let her choose the cards which was a beautiful Thomas Kinkade painting of a little cabin in the woods. Jonathan shared my desire to have a little cabin in the woods, so that was very appropriate. It's called "A Peaceful Retreat".
In the days to come, I'd like to blog more on who Jonathan was and about our lives with him. And it will come in little bits and peaces when I'm able to do that. I think somewhere deep in my heart I always knew he'd not have long on this earth. But through all the trials and tribulations, he fought such a hard battle and although some people thought if he could just be "fixed" he'd be better but I never thought he needed fixing, he was who he was and in the last few years, he gave me some of the best memories of him that I will hold in my heart forever. I wish he could have believed how special of a person he was but he never thought so. He just thought he was a big dissapointment to us, but he never was. There were times we'd have liked to pinch his head off, there were times when he drained us of every ounce of energy we had and more dollars than you can imagine. And I know in my heart it was because of us, his brother and me and his grandparents and his dog BUDDY, that he held on as long as he could. So, I hope he is in a cabin like the one above, with no cares or worries and I pray with all my heart he knew how very much he was loved.

7 comments:

GreenishLady said...

I hope you can manage to strike the right balance for you between the busyness of writing those notes, and getting some rest. It's a lovely image - that peaceful cabin in the woods. What a handsome young man he was.

Memaw's memories said...

After reading your post, I thought about Don McLean's song Starry Starry Night about Vincent Van Gogh. There's a line in the song that says, 'This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.' This has to fit your son as well. I hope he's at peace, and that you find solace in his memories.

Thanks for the award and your very kind comments. I will send it along to a nice person.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Imelda, thank you for your kind comments. I'd like to have a cabin like that so much. I see you have a poetry book that will be available soon, I may just have to have that.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Oh, Shirley, I actually said something like that to someone the other day, I said, "he was just too beautiful for this old world." I thought at the time it sounded familiar to me, and that is where. I have a CD by Josh Groban singing that song, and I'm going to have to go find it. His life in many ways mirrored Van Gogh's. I remember thinking that once when I was reading about him. Thank you. I may even have an old 70's CD with Don McLean's version.

Chellie said...

What a touching thought from Shirley about teh line in that song. Jonathan was so handsonme and what a wonderful picture with his dog. I'm sure Buddy is grieving too. Did you take him?

Chellie said...

Oh, and I LOVE that cabin picture. perfect.

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Chellie, I didn't take Buddy but I'll do a post today explaining a little about that. It breaks my heart really, but I need to get it out.